09 Jun The Invisible Snare
As a young person I faced relentless teasing for my size, name, and abilities. No one seemed to understand, not even my mother. I remember her saying to me, “Leslie you are beautiful and gifted, what are you so upset about? Straighten up!” Those words, although intended to bring peace, only drove my shame deeper and placed an unseen wedge in my heart.
Several years later I realized that whenever I was in my mother’s house, we would automatically disagree and sometimes argue. There was no one else in the world I loved more at that time, yet we could not dwell in peace! I wanted help. My friend suggested that I ask God to forgive me for judging my mother, and if possible, seek her forgiveness. When I asked my mother to forgive me for not being the daughter I should have been, I remember her response. “Leslie,” she said, “You’re my daughter! Forgive you for what? I love you!”
My mother had no memory of any wrong, which is often the case. This is the reason we must learn to guard our hearts, because as the Proverb says, the issues of life flow out of the heart (Proverbs 4:23). My release did not come in knowing that my mother understood. My release came when I understood that I was forgiven by God, and I had forgiven both my mother and myself!
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